Islamic Pearls

261. the likeness of those who spend their wealth In the Way of Allâh, is as the likeness of a grain (of corn); it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grains. Allâh gives manifold increase to whom He pleases. and Allâh is All-Sufficient for his creatures’ needs, All-Knower. Al Baqarah 2:261

1 measly seed, lovingly sowed into the fertile soil produces 700 grains. $10 given in charity with no showing off, not followed by reminders or hurt, comes back to you 700-fold. $7000. Either here in this world, or in the hereafter.

I had read this ayah many times, but as tafseer on this ayah was done today, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of yearning. Probably much like the yearning of the sahaba who went to the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam complaining of the unfairness of charity giving because they were poor.

I won’t say I’m poor, but I have to say that my money (note I said money, not wealth) is not completely under my control. I fretted over this for the longest time, because whenever I wanted to give charity, I have to tell my husband to do it especially if it requires online transactions. Only he has access to this. And as we were listening to the tafseer of this ayah, that talks about the reward of charity giving, I told a dear sister of this ‘predicament’ of mine.

“It’s so frustrating,” I typed in the chat box.

Now, I have to highlight here the significance and importance of good company, because what ensued later on, completely turned things around. I can easily imagine a friend saying,

“Oh poor you! Hey, you should have control over your money, you know.”

But you know what she said?

She said what I know, but aptly forgot amidst all my ‘frustrations’.

Sadaqah is not just of money, it can be of time, energy, effort in teaching your own children the deen, teaching others, a smile! how could I have forgotten?

Even thought the lightbulb moment was not instant, I slowly (like a dead lightbulb slowly coming to light) lit up. I knew that, but why didn’t it console me right away? I was still fettered by my frustrations.

But my dear friend kept at it. I have to tell you it took a few chat exchanges until I gained the equivalent enthusiasm that bespoke,

“Yeah! You’re absolutely right!”

And then she said,

“We can be walking bank account in other ways,”

and BAM! Thus was born a beautiful gem, or should I say pearl (no pun intended).

Walking bank account in other ways. Sadaqah jariah, beneficial knowledge, righteous children. All three are walking bank accounts in other ways.

I needn’t have been that frustrated over not being able to give charity monetarily. I was being close minded and short sighted. We all, at least those of us who are not loaded with wads of cash or hefty bank cards all the time, can very well be walking bank accounts that churn out charity in the form of a smile, a lesson in sunday school, a sincere advice to a friend in need, tarbiyyah of children, voluntary work for the community, a halaqa, a blog post, a Facebook status or a Facebook note. And what amazing walking bank accounts those are. Close maybe to a child’s imagined walking candy vending machine that continuously gives birth to a never ending supply of lip smacking candies and chocolates.

It dawned on me how merciful Allah is, that we are provided with so many forms of gathering good deeds, and not only are there many ways of attaining it, but some of them do not require much than turning the corners of your lips upwards. A person may not have much money with which to give charity, but s/he has the time, energy, individual talents that s/he can harness to get that windmill of good deeds going full blast.

It also struck me how the focus was redirected at the alternatives, instead of focusing on what one doesn’t have. Again, may I remind us all of the benefit of good company?

I have a recycled spaghetti sauce jar, which I have turned into a sadaqah jar sitting somewhere in the house. It is supposed to be in the kitchen, and it is a repository for loose change that we are bound to find in a house resided by four children and two parents. I may not have access to online transactions, but I have access to this jar. I can do so much with this jar. I know. I had talked about alternatives, but when we do have money, we still have to spend it in the way of Allah , don’t we? This jar will be my monetary effort, to top off the non monetary effort inshaallah.

Walking bank accounts we all are, monetary or non monetary, or both!
And may our other unseen bank accounts avail us on the Day or Judgment when we will really need them. Ameen.

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Surah Al Baqarah is not named Al Baqarah for nothing. Before, when I thought about this surah, and why it’s named as such (which means The Cow), the only thing I could think about was the story of Prophet Musa alahisalam telling his people to slaughter a cow. In my AlHuda class, it was mentioned that the cow and the calf, symbolized what the Children of Israel loved.

In this surah, there are two stories concerning this animal, one of the cow that the Children of Israel were close to not slaughtering, and the other, of the calf that Samiri formed which they later worshipped in the absence of Prophet Musa alahisalam, who was at Mount Sinai for an additional 10 days to the aforementioned 30 days.

The Children of Israel were used to the Egyptian way of life, and the cow was one of the revered animals, hence they have this love of it that has been deeply ingrained in them. The calf that Samiri shaped and that they later worshiped symbolized what they love and could not give up, thus taking the place of the worship of Allah .

Applying it to us in our current conditions and time, ‘our calf’ could be anything from money to family. Sure, we are still Muslims, but do we observe our acts of worships dilligently? Or is there a calf nagging us to spend more time tending to it and leaving very little time for Allah ?

Is our family keeping us from the worship of Allah ? Do we go on too many vacations such that we’re too exhausted to take our children to the masjid? Do we cave in to our children’s wants such that our house if filled with music and ongoing entertainment? Are we too busy organizing their birthday parties such that we don’t read Quran as much as used to? Are we too busy working to seek knowledge in Islam? Are we too busy pursuing our careers such that we dilute our Islam by shaking hand with non mahrams, changing our dress code to ‘fit in’, changing our manners and ettiquettes of dealing with the opposite gender? We have so many calves to worry about don’t we?

What is our calf?

I know what my calf is, do you?

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Sahih International: O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. [Surah Al Hujuraat, 49:12]

Ahhh…the wagging tongue. So much destruction from one simple organ in our bodies. A hurtful word said to the face, a hurtful word said behind one’s back. The organ that utters much good can also wag itself to destruction of the whole body. May Allah protect us from the dangers of the tongue. So detested is the act of backbiting and slander that it is equated to eating the flesh of a cadaver. A horrifying scene indeed.

11: Sahih International: O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers. [Surah Al Hujuraat, 49:11]

Surah Al Hujuraat is the 49th surah in the Quran. It talks a lot about manners and behaviours we should embody when we deal with other people. In this verse, ridiculing is attributed to women. Why women?

It’s a well known fact that females are generally better endowed with verbal abilities than men. Mars vs Venus. Venus definitely wins the verbal debate! A baby girl learns to talk much quicker than a baby boy. Husband and wife arguing; wife wins the argument. Gossiping; a favorite pastime of women. Desperate Housewives. You see it. Girls yakking on the phone with each other. High school. We know it. Admit it. Women are definitely the masters of the wagging tongue.

Unfortunately, we have come to view gossiping as something harmless, to the point that one would actually invite another to gossip about someone by the casual invitation of,

“Hey, let’s get down to some gossiping!”

Ok, maybe that’s not how it’s done, but I don’t do Malay to English translation much justice, so please forgive me. And alhamdulillah, so far, I’ve never heard or personally experienced an invitation to gossip in English. Allahu Akbar!

It can get downright tricky to avoid oneself from getting involved in a good juicy gossip, even if one is just a silent participant. For one, one battles with the hows of telling the person that gossiping is bad, especially if one is sitting with someone older, or respected. It’s easier to tell a friend,

“I don’t think we should do this,”

than to tell an aunt or relative the same thing. It sure takes a lot of wisdom and tact to wrestle oneself out of the situation or stop it altogether. I’ve heard many suggestions regarding the matter, some of which are,

* Change the topic
* Excuse yourself from the room and come back when they are no longer indulged in gossip
* Directly tell them it’s wrong (takes a lot of guts and taqwa to do this)
* Leave them, saying you won’t sit with them as long as they gossip, and join them again when they stop, thereby showing them that you are still friends with them (this probably works best with your close buddies who really love you)

It’s really sad and unfortunate that making fun of people is treated as a harmless thing. How many of us make fun of other people? Someone’s accent, someone’s gait, someone’s gestures, someone’s mental capabilities, someone’s physical features. And the list goes on. All these can be the subject of ridicule, whether right in the face, thinking that it’s just some harmless fun and that the object of the ridicule shouldn’t take it to heart because

“We’re just joking!”

or behind someone’s back, in a fit of titters and giggles. Especially when we despise someone, the ridicule that results can get very ugly. Very ugly indeed. This form of pride is the satanic pride, as exhibited by Iblis when he declared,

“I am better than him, because I am created from Fire and he was created from clay.”

Even a wink, or the raising of an eyebrow counts as do the rolling of the eyes. The culture of late night shows is rampant with ridicule, and we call it free speech? Stand up comedies. Always filled with ridicules created to elicit rounds of laughter from the audience. The louder the better.

Sahih International: Woe to every scorner and mocker [Surah Al Humazah; 104:1]

Iman, mockery, derision, and malice do not sit well together, so it is eventually up to us to decide what we want to let live in our hearts. The light of faith, or the ominous tentacles of malice, ill feelings and mockery. It’s our choice. It has always been our choice. We are beings with free will and is what makes us better than even the angels when we enter Jannah. Angels are created to do good, they don’t have desire to do bad, but humans have to fight their own nafs(self) to continue to do good and avoid bad, thus they are higher in status than even the angels when they successfully enter Paradise. Allahu Akbar!

Sahih International: O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. [Surah Al Hujuraat, 49:12]

The verse has three commands that are in a specific order:

1. Avoid negative assumptions
2. Do not spy
3. Do not backbite

Naturally, these three come one after the other. Let’s say you walk into a room and you sense that two of your friends are talking and snickering about you. Immediately you form a negative assumption that they are indeed talking about you. Indignant, you set out to confirm your suspicions, and begin to eavesdrop on their conversations, maybe read their letters or emails, ask around. This is the spying in effect. Of course, shaytaan doesn’t fail to incite your anger and suspicions by compelling your mind and thoughts to affirm these suspicions at the end of which you decide to get back at them. And here is where you are brought to your ruins; you backbite them back with other people, persuading people to see their bad side so you feel ‘retributed’.

This is also a danger of whispering to one another when there are more than two people in a room, and Islam prohibits this. Subhanallah, see how the The Majestic is so just, that not only is one prohibited from assuming negative assumptions, but the other side is also prohibited from doing something that may lead to negative assumptions. Allahu Akbar!

As mentioned above, even a gesture can be categorized as mockery, as apparent here:

The Prophet (Salla Allahu ‘Alayhee wa Sallam) was looking into marrying Safiyyah (Radhi Allahu ‘Anhum). Aisha (Radhi Allahu ‘Anhum) saw her yet out of natural jealousy really didn’t want the Prophet to marry her. So the Prophet asked Aisha about her and Aisha said she was nice and everything was good about her, but then Aisha made a gesture with her hand to show that Safiyyah was short. In response to this the Prophet said just this gesture; if she were to put it into an ocean it would stain the whole ocean. [Sunan Abu Dawud, 41:4857]

Of course there are situations where we are allowed to speak out against another such as :

* When judge has to pass a ruling on a criminal in court
* When oppression is happening and one has to speak out against the oppressor
* When warning people in transactions (marriage, business, etc) of people who are known to be abusers, scoundrels, cheats etc

So what are to do about our tongues? Our limbs? Well, it certainly is easier said than done, but let’s try to really consciously watch our tongue, our gestures, our spontaneous speeches, lest we end up a fellow brother/sister flesh. As for being a silent participant of gossip, do what is right, with wisdom, lest we end up watching our precious acts of charity, precious prayers that we have taken care to establish, precious extra prayers, years of fasts, both obligatory and supererogatory, and that treasured hajj being awarded to the person who is gossiped, leaving us with less good deeds and more sins. To be safe, if we have nothing good to say, let’s keep our mouths (and fingers for that matter) shut, shall we?

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The Pharaoh’s wife; Aasiyah, The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam’s wife; Khadijah, Jesus’s alayhi salam mother; Maryam, and The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam’s daughter; Faatimah. What do they all share in common? They are the best of all women, as indicated in this hadith:

Anas reports that the Messenger of Allaah, salla Allaahu alaihi wa sallam, said: ‘The best women of mankind are four: Mariam daughter of `Imraan, Assiya wife of Pharaoh, Khadija daughter of Khuwailid, and Fatima the daughter of the Messenger of Allaah.’ [Bukhari and Muslim]

In Surah Tahrim, it’s very interesting to note that Allah mentions various women.

10: Sahih International: Allah presents an example of those who disbelieved: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were under two of Our righteous servants but betrayed them, so those prophets did not avail them from Allah at all, and it was said, “Enter the Fire with those who enter.” [Surah Tahrim: 66:10]

The wives of Lut and Nuh were wives of Allah ’s prophets, but they ended up being disbelievers, thus punished. By association of being prophets’ wives, they didn’t gain anything, thereby dispelling the concept that just because you come fromn a lineage of so and so or are the people of so and so would definitely grant you great favor from Allah . How unjust it would be if you could get a free ticket to Paradise just because you’re a relative of so and so. And how illogical.

Then Allah mentions,

11: Sahih International: And Allah presents an example of those who believed: the wife of Pharaoh, when she said, “My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds and save me from the wrongdoing people.” [Surah Tahrim; 66:11]

The wife of the Pharaoh of Egypt, whom the people regard as their god. She was a queen, surrounded by luxury, wealth, and palaces, and what did she ask for? A meager house. But what is so special about that house? That it be near to Allah Azza wajall. She could have had anything she wanted, being the Pharaoh’s wife, but she chose to forgo all that in compensation for a greater eternal reward with Allah in Paradise. Little wonder that she is one of the four greatest women, huh?

Next, Allah mentions,

12: Sahih International: And [the example of] Mary, the daughter of ‘Imran, who guarded her chastity, so We blew into [her garment] through Our angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was of the devoutly obedient. [Surah Tahrim; 66:12]

The mother of Isa (Jesus) alayhi salam, who bore accusations on her chastity, yet remained obedient. Allah described her as being qaanitoon (obedient), and this is one of the special qualities that these women possess, that merits them a mention and such a high ranking in the eyes of Allah .

When we talk about great women, some names immediately come to mind; Aishah, Khadijah, Asiyah, Maryam, Fatimah. Each of them are from different spheres, with unique qualities, and talents that we, the women of today can relate to.

Aisha is well known as most probably the greatest female scholar in Islam, having memorized and taught so many ahadeeth of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam to both males and females. Such was her love for knowledge that once she asked Abu Hurayrah how come he had more ahadeeth than her, and he responded,

“While you were beautifying yourself, I managed to get more hadith out of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam.”

What does this tell us? It tells us one, of a balanced life of Muslim women. Aisha wasn’t sitting learning all the time, but she also beautified herself for her husband. She didn’t neglect her womanly tendencies or duties while learning intensively.

Fatimah, the prophet’s sallallahu alayhi wasallam’s beloved daughter, is well known as a homemaker, and where she excelled is in raising her children. We can see the similarity between her and Maryam, who both were great mothers to great sons.

So we have a queen, a scholar, and mothers. This shows the wide spectrum of spheres women occupy and regardless of which it is, women can attain righteousness and the pleasure of Allah . A woman with many children might not be able to do as many voluntary works in the community towards contributing for Islam, but she can channel her energy and time towards raising her children in the path of Allah . A woman who has no children might not be able to do this, but she has other avenues in which she may contribute to the path of Allah , and in this we see the beauty of decrees ordained by Allah on women. Some women have baby after baby, while other remain childless for years.Yet, whatever situation a woman is in, she is able to attain the pleasure of Allah in her own sphere, in her own way, subhanallah.

What all the women mentioned above have in common is stated in this ayah:

5: Sahih International: Perhaps his Lord, if he divorced you [all], would substitute for him wives better than you – submitting [to Allah ], believing, devoutly obedient, repentant, worshipping, and traveling – [ones] previously married and virgins. [Surah Tahrim; 66:5]

Muslimat (submitting to Allah ), Mu’minaat(believing), qaanitaat (devoutly obedient), taa’ibat (repentant), ‘aabidaat (worshipping), and saa’ihaat (travelling).

So, no matter which sphere or niche we women are in, we can attain the pleasure of Allah in our own niches, by striving to embrace the qualities mentioned in this verse, inshaallah. Mine is definitely calling out to me loud and clear.

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Carry me in your arms….

Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: ‘The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.’

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

When I got home that night as my wife Ameena served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. Ameena didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, Ismail why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, ‘you are not a man!’

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. Ameena was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Mary Anne. I didn’t love Ameena anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Mary Anne so dearly.

Finally Ameena cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Mary Anne. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did’nt care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son Ahmed had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Mary Anne about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. Ameena and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son Ahmed clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don’t tell Ahmed about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to Ameena.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Mary Anne about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son Ahmed came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. Ameena gestured to our son to come close and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Ahmed had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Mary Anne opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Mary Anne, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Mary Anne, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world.

Mary Anne seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I will carry you out every morning until one of us leaves this world!

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build a relationship.

Allah says in the Qur’an:’Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected.’ (Qur’an 4:34)

Allah says in the Qur’an:’And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy, indeed, God is almighty, All-wise.’ (Qur’an 9:71)

Prophet[p.b. u.h] said, ‘The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the best to my family.’

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Alhamdulilah, this week I was blessed by Allah to go see many different kinds of Animals…from fish..to penguins..to even butterflies. Two of the seven days that have just passed were filled with amazing sights and emaan rushing creatures just reminding my friends and I of the amazing creation Allah has placed on this earth.

It makes me wonder, how can an atheist see such beautiful creations and believe they came from no where? That some reaction occurred producing many different animals. SubhanAllah, if they were to just go to an animal related exhibit and THINK about what is in front of them they would realize the stupidity of that thought. Each and every type of animal has its own perfection…its own life style…its own beauty. And how many different kinds of animals are there? Way too many to count…..

If you have never gone to an aquarium or an animal exhibit and gotten an emaan rush, I suggest you go and while you are there…try and look at all the details and relate them to how Our Creator…Our Lord…Created all of this…from nothing. SubhanAllah…a trembling thought.

“Which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?”

[Surah: Ar-Rahmaan 16]

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As I walked into the Titanic Exhibit today, the man who checked my ticket handed me my boarding pass. ‘boarding pass?’ I thought… ‘to an exhibit?’ Little did I know for the next twenty minutes I would not be living under the name that my Father had given me at birth, rather I would be reliving the life of the woman on my boarding pass.

I began to become acquainted with my new name, although at first i was a bit confused to as to what it really was. On the pass it said: “Passenger Name: Mrs. Ernest E. Nye (Elizabeth Ramell)”…..Ernest..? Isnt that a guys name? How can I live a life, even if for only twenty minutes, of a guy. Then i realized….my name is Elizabeth..but these people aboard the Titanic had not been touched with the beauty of Islam. Elizabeth Ramell had to live a life of being the property of her husband, not even being known by her name…rather by her husbands. Anyways… I moved on trying to get a feel for the life of this woman I was to be for the next short part of my life. She had to ride second class, not first, not a big deal….i do that all the time…Reading on I saw facts about her traggic life, although only 29 she had to deal with death after death of those she loved so dearly…She must have been quite sad..what with no Islam to help her get over her losses. Alhamdulilah, I had become acquainted with her, so I decided to move on, and enter into the realm of the Titanic and see the real scraps they left behind.

Indestructible, or so they thought. I, Elizabeth Ramell, had been told that’s what it was. No one could break it…no one could tear it down “not even God himself”. Had this not been Elizabeth Ramell speaking she might have taken that as a warning….and hated this blasphemous statement, too bad Elizabeth Ramell was Elizabeth Ramell…. I walked from display to display putting myself in this Woman’s shoes….minus the alcohol…I can’t even bring myself to imagine that part. Traveling alone the terror of the sound and rumble that the impact, into the ice berg, caused flew through my veins. “Death…me? Am I to go join my loved ones? I’m not ready…i’ll change…i must save myself!” I thought the same thing most of the people on that boat must have thought….. We began running, screaming, praying to God to save us. I kept thinking ‘we uttered the most horrible words…said God could not sink this boat, and now God was going to sink this boat and we were going to go down with it!’ I saw the nearest lifeboat…and prayed they let me on. They did. I jumped in, fighting off cowardly men and women who couldnt wait their turn to take my seat near the floor. Hopefully I’d be rescued…Hopefully I wouldnt join those in the water….those who were….before my eyes…dying.

Snapping back to reality i walked forward towards two walls covered in names. Survivors…and other than survivors.

First Class: 199 Saved; 130 Dead

Second Class: 119 Saved; 166 Dead

Third Class: 183 Saved; 527 Dead

Crew: 212 Saved; 698 Dead

Would my temporary identity be one of those among the 119 Saved from second class…or those to be left at sea….to feed the fish? I started reading through the many names on that wall, first the dead. Name after name I read until i got through the 166, without finding my name. Every name was strange to me. People I have never met, and people that are not remembered except by having their name written on this wall. I couldnt help but think about how these people were facing something greater than the ship they were on, greater than the wreck they died in. Imagine facing the One who knows everything you have EVER done, without exception. . Seeing that my twenty minute identity was not on the Death list, I moved on to read the survivors, I found the name.

She lived. Yes, Elizabeth Ramell was rescued but rescued from what? Rescued from going forward to meet her Lord, to face the fact that without islam she had wasted her entire life. Rescued from that meeting….so that she could continue to live her life..continue to disobey Allah ..continue to live without islam.

What about me? Yes the real me, not Elizabeth. Me. The me that never even saw the real Titanic. The me that never lived through a near death experience. The me that was walking through a exhibit in near by Houston….. living in a make-believe world. What will be my fate? When will I die? Will I be ready…for there will come a day..where I am nothing more than a name in this dunya..soon to be forgotten, and I must prepare.

Take heed of the signs that were left for us. Take heed of the lessons derived from the people that came before us.

wa Alhamdulilahi rabb al Alameen.

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When I’m sitting on the sidelines watching my friends chat their lives away with guys, trying to find a place to sit where I cant be seen. Trying to find someone to chill with who wont invite a guy over to join the convo….The words ring in my head.

When I’m listening to the painful words that prove that I am no where near to what this society classifies as “normal” and that i have taken a turn for “extreme”…The words ring in my head.

When I walk through the halls of America, with every eye turning to see what ’strange thing’ just walked in…The words ring in my head.

When the women at the masajid make it a point to tell me mother her only daughter will never get married because of the niqab she sports across her face….The words ring my head 

The words that give me comfort and remind me of the reward in store in sha Allah .  

“بَدَأَ الإِسْلامُ غَرِيبًا ، وَسَيَعُودُ كَمَا بَدَأَ غَرِيبًا ، فَطُوبَى لِلْغُرَبَاءِ“

“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.”

Fa Toubaa lil-Ghurabaa.

wa Alhamdulilah rab Al-alameen. 

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Muhsin Khan: And you would have thought them awake, while they were asleep. And We turned them on their right and on their left sides, and their dog stretching forth his two forelegs at the entrance [of the Cave or in the space near to the entrance of the Cave (as a guard at the gate)]. Had you looked at them, you would certainly have turned back from them in flight, and would certainly have been filled with awe of them. [Surah Al Kahf : 18:18]

It was revealed when the early Muslims were in the throes of persecution by the Quraish. Why?

To convey the message that things may not make sense at the moment, but years later, things can turn around significantly. The young men went to the cave to escape the disbelievers during their time, and to seek safety. Allah in His infinite power made them sleep for more than normal, so they would wake up to a different time. Lo and behold, everybody was Muslim.

That was the message conveyed to the Muslims who were suffering from horrible persecution at the hands of friends and families in their own home town, in their own homes even.

Take home lesson for us:

In our life, there may be things that may happen to us, especially tests that Allah has bestowed on us, that seemed gripping and restricting in the sense that we see no way out of it. Hardships may afflict us such that we think,

“This is so hard! I can’t do this anymore.”

Living a life of a mother, I certainly have many moments like that.

“Will this kid grow up to be a slob?”

“Oh no! She doesn’t want to sit and do her surah. What am I going to do?!”

“This tot naps whenever he wants. It’s driving me crazy!”

“The stove has something on it, the baby’s crying, the bigger kids are fighting, hubby’s asking for something, I only have two hands!”

Children grow up. Action-packed moments reach their climax and then taper off. It may not make much sense now, but things may change favorably in years to come. Hopefully, in the case of parents with children, the change is for the better.

In a matter of 10 years from when Surah al Kahf was revealed, the inhabitants of Makkah embraced Islam. Such a contrast from the situation 10 years and more before, subhanallah. Ikrimah Ibn Abu Jahl, Abu Sufyan Ibn Harb, Hind Bint Utbah, Khalid Ibn Walid, and many more, flipped over and became one with the Muslims. Allahu Akbar!

Whatever hardships you’re facing today, may not make much sense now, but do rest assured that Allah has decreed everything with Infinite Wisdom, and years later, with His will, things may turn out rather differently in a positive way. Let us take solace in this.

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Parenting with Love & Logic; one parenting book I highly recommend to parents who are looking for parenting books to read. One of the core concept of parenting with love and logic is that you let consequences be the teacher for your children.

I grew tired of being a walking, nagging, and yelling organizer.

“Your chores!”

“I see dirty clothes on the floor.” (What is called ‘Describing’ in How to talk so Kids Will Listen and How to Listen to Kids Will Talk ; another parenting book that is on my highly recommended list)

“Of course, sometimes it works when I have the patience. When I don’t, that’s when curt short descriptions turn into,

“I reminded you so many times. I’m tired. How many times do I have to remind you?!”

Heeding the advice given in Parenting with Love & Logic, I enforced a new rule: for every item of clothing I had to pick up, it will cost the owner 10 cents. I saw quite a significant decrease in the amount of dirty laundry lying on the floor, but of course, there are some that still remain.

So I say,

“Hmm…am I gonna make some money today?”

Immediately I hear busy feet hitting the stairs trying to get to it first before I could pick it up.

Then there is the schedule. Shower in the morning, lunch at 12, chores after lunch, Zuhr. Despite living it everyday, my children seem to defy this schedule. So to avoid turning into a yelling wreck the next day, I go over what they are supposed to do the next day the night before. Logic tells you not to expect perfection from children, but exhaustion tells you,

“They’d better do it or else!”

The next day, I am still reminding them of their chores, some once, some twice and thrice, and with each reminder, my calm exterior is stripped down.

Problem-solving time: I am to charge them for having to remind them to do their chores. Their ‘bill’ will come at the end of the week where payment is due. It should be easy, right? Remind, charge. Remind, charge.

Yet, I still find myself getting agitated. Why won’t they save themselves? They have the opportunity to save themselves some money!

As I was dealing with this parenting woe, I overheard a part of the Al Huda Online class my eleven year old is currently taking.

It struck me.

Read this dua ten times in the morning and ten times in the evening and you are raised ten status.
Bad intention not carried out is not written as a bad deed.
Good intention not carried out is written as a good intention.
Follow a bad deed with a good deed and wipe away the bad deed.
Utter a simple Subhanallah wabihamdih subhanallahil adhim and you can make your mizaan heavy.
Read surah al Mulk each night and you will be spared punishment in the grave.
And the list goes on.

“Allah wants good for us.”

That’s what the instructor said, and I could imagine two synapses clicking together, emitting a bright light akin to the ‘Aha!’ light bulb.

Just as I, a parent, gives so many chances for my children to rectify their behavior, and at seeing no changes, reminds them so they would not have to suffer the consequences, Allah gives us so many opportunities for us to redeem ourselves and lays out reminders for us all over, through people, inanimate creations, animals, the Quran, etc.

The most generous a video/computer game would maybe give the player nine lives so the he could go up the levels. But Allah has provided us with innumerable opportunities to ascend that ladder so we could attain good for ourselves. And all this for all the disobedience and sins we keep committing innumerable times on a daily basis?

Ya Allah ! Ya Rahmaan, Ya Raheem.

May we take advantage of these opportunities and reminders while we still can.

No wonder Allah puts the command to obey parents right after the command to worship Him. A lot of what parents do for their children out of mercy and love run parallel to what Allah does for his creations, except Allah ’s love and mercy could never be matched by any of His creation’s.

So, I will learn to shut my mouth, contain my growing irritation, let the consequences teach my children, try to be more aware of the many opportunities Allah has given me to redeem myself, and take full advantage of them. Inshaallah.

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asSalaam alaikum wa Rhamutallah,

You Can Be The Hppiest Women In The World by Dr. A’id al-Qarni, is a treasure chest of reminders! I am currently reading this book and I would like to share some excerpts from it with all of you.

You can buy this book here .

Enjoy…

****
Take what comes to you and give thanks… [7:144]

Count the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you

When morning comes, remember that the sun is shining upon thousands of miserable women, but you are blessed; it is shining on hundreds of hungry women but you have plenty to eat;it shines on thousands of imprisoned women but you are free; it shines upon thousands of women who have been stricken with calamity and lost their children, but you are happy and healthy. How many tears flow down women’s cheeks, how many mothers hearts are filled with pain, how many screams come from girls throats- but you are smiling and happy. So praise Allah , the exalted, for His kindness, protection, and generosity.

Sit and think and be honest with yourself; look at numbers and statistics. How many things do you own, how many things do you posses, how many blessings to you enjoy, how many things do you have that bring you delight? Beauty, wealth, children, shade, a home, a country, light, air,water, nourishment, medicine? Rejoice and Be of Good Cheer!

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“A man can’t handle labor pains, if he does, he’ll die.”

It cracked me up really bad the moment the sister uttered it. While I laughed till my eyes started to water, she merely offered a smile. Apparently, it didn’t strike her as being that funny.

It was the way she said it (in Malay) that elicited the percolating bubble of laughter from me, but the content of her statement is actually food for thought.

We’ve read about it here and there:

Women are endowed with child-bearing capabilities because they have a special role.

Women are in a way stronger than men, because they are designed to handle labor pains.

Having experienced six labor pains so far, I have to say that it’s amazing how women’s bodies can swell up to harbor a growing human being until it’s ready to make its exit, and even more astounding that a full term baby can exit from a really small orifice. Subhanallah!

Yet, what’s even more thought-provoking is the concept of pain in Islam.

Narrated ‘Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah ’s Apostle said, “No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” (Bukhari)

This means that any amount of pain we have to endure, brings with it the opportunity to purify ourselves. Double whammo! Win-win. Tit for tat.

Being a woman automatically equips us with this built-in opportunity, even if we end up not having any children. Menstrual cramps? Got it? Or even anything not related to womanly issues.

In short, any pain is a gain.

But wait, why did I start with ‘being a woman’?

Because looked at it from this way, being a woman is actually something to be coveted, as opposed to the usual lament,

“I wish I was a boy. It’s easier being a man than a woman!”

Despite sometimes wishing that my husband could get pregnant and breastfeed so I could have some time to myself, I never wished I was a man. Despite feeling tied up by an invisible string that prevents me from just dashing out of the house and leaving the kids with careless abandon whenever I feel the need to get away from the family, I do relish the security and freedom being a wife and mother brings. Despite feeling like an overused cow with an active udder that is expected to perform even at night, I cherish the honor of being the source of food for a growing little human being.

I admit it. I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I cringe and wince even at the thought of scheduling an annual pelvic exam. I get all panicky when I’m in my second trimester, already thinking of the labor pains and delivery of the baby. Pain scares me. Seriously.

But when the time came, twice, I refused the epidural, despite the nurses pushing it on me. I refused it not because I thought I would gain more reward from bearing the pain, but because I thought having some foreign matter in my body is not good for the baby, as long as I could help it. Childbirth is a natural bodily process. Allah has made the pain increase gradually, so our body can acclimate to the ‘new and notched up pain’.

Suffice it to say, pregnancy brings a lot of pain with it, even before childbirth. Then imagine the opportunities for sin removal from just one pregnancy! Subhanallah!

After childbirth, there are more opportunities for sin removal. Don’t worry. It’s all in the package. The healing process, the initial difficulty with nursing, the possible engorgement, the cramping, and all the problems that may come with breastfeeding and C-section. You will get your fair share, if you’re a woman who has just given birth to a new member of the ummah.

For those who have not yet faced pregnancies or childbirth, you can look forward to it in a new way. For those who can’t bear children, Allah has something better in store for you inshaallah.

So it is with this outlook and perspective that we can embrace pain with gratitude when it happens to us, inshaallah. As they say, no pain no gain!

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When you are handling a child who slithers on the floor in her prayer garment in protest to reading the Quran while the baby grows hungrier by the minute, you think to yourself,

“She’d better be something when she grows up for all the trouble she’s giving me now.”

When you’re stuck in front of the stove with hot viscous oil sizzling in the pan, stove fan buzzing noisily, and raw chicken sitting in the bowl ready for cooking while your 5 month-old wails for milk only you can give, you find yourself running back and forth between the stove and your baby, all the while thinking,

“This too will pass.”

When you’ve just been told that your 24 week old fetus has no heartbeat, and that you have to be induced to get it out, you feel hot tears trickling down your cheeks, and your heart feels as if it has been shredded to bits that your chest actually physically hurts, you think in your head and say with your tongue,

“Inna lillaahi wainna ilahi raaji’oon. Allahuma jurnee fee museebati wakhliflee khaira minha.”

When you are trudging through knee-high snow in 30 degree weather, with a protruding belly underneath all that layer of shirt, dress, and winter coat, and trying hard not slip on hidden, invisible patches of ice, you think,

“There must be light at the end of the tunnel.”

When you nurse your one year old, hoping he would fall asleep and nap for two or three hours, but you only end up nursing him for an hour at which he is still perky and fresh, trying to grab your glasses and flashing you an impish smile, and you feel agitated because you have work to do, you think,

“Arghh!”

When you get so tangled in a web of difficulties in your daily life, you think,

“I can’t wait to get to Jannah!”

When you are exhausted beyond exhaustion from changing two children’s diapers back to back, wiping up the icky, crumbly, muddy mess under, around, on, and in between the baby’s high chair, nursing the baby while the toddler and 3 year old fight over a toy, and trying to take a exercise and shower while they’re still napping, you are so ready to receive your yusra.

Our daily life is so rife with day to day challenges, and our whole life is speckled with major tests and trials. As a mother, my tests mostly come from caring for my children, and throughout the years, I have personally taken this ayah as a source of solace in times of hardship, major or minor.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً

5:Muhsin Khan: So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, [Surah Al Inshirah; 94:5]

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Assalamu Alaykum

Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” [Al-Baqarah 2:156]

I remember a while back i was reading a book and i stumbled across what is known as “Murphys Law”. This law states: Whatever can go wrong…WILL go wrong.  It struck me as odd….what a negative way to look at life? Hardly anything goes wrong in life! Or maybe that is just me….a little too Happy Go Lucky….

wa Alhamdulilah Rabb Al Alameen.

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Question Three

Which verse in the Quran is the most meaningful to you personally, and why?

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In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

by The Muslim Creed Magazine

My Dear Sister,

Know that you are man’s sister and half of humanity. You are a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, grand daughter or grand mother. The Prophet said, what translated means, Women are, indeed, men’s partners. [Abu Dawood]. You are a member of the great nation of Islam, the best nation ever produced for mankind. No other nation on earth has more great men, leaders and conquerors than this nation. It is the nation of guidance and the straight religion, and it leads humanity to righteousness and truth. It transforms people from worshippers of slaves to worshippers of the Lord of slaves, from life’s pressures to the pleasures of the Life after, and from the injustice of other religions to the justice of Islam.

Your ancestors, great women of Islam, were one of the main reasons for this great nation to take this great place among all nations. Allah , Who granted Islam to this nation, made a high place for Muslim women, and decreed that they share in the responsibilities of enjoining truth, forbidding evil and raising the flag of Islam. He said, what translated means, The believers, men and women, are loyalists of one another, they enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, they offer their prayers perfectly and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will leave His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. [9:71]

Allah has given Muslim women what they can bare of orders and duties. He is the God Who knows His creation, Should He not know what He created? And He is the Most Kind, All-Aware (of everything). [67:14].

My dear sister, you are called upon today to truly become an active member of the Muslim nation, strive to establish victory for Allah ’s Word, implement the Quran and help build the generation of Iman.

What Do Your Enemies Want From You?

There are those who want to distract you from doing your duty. They want to distract you from meeting your noble obligation, that is, to defend the religion of Allah and raise His Word high. Those enemies use many methods: First: They distract you from what Allah created you to perform of worship, belief and Da’wah (propagating Islam). They use this worldly life as their bate: Jewelry stores, fashions that originate in non-Muslim countries, new models all the time, desires raised, hunger that can never be satisfied, pleasures and competition for them and endless ways for joy. Allah did not create us for this. Indulging in these matters is usually accompanied by wasting time and money and igniting enmity and competition between the rich and the poor.

Second: They ignite enmity between you and man. To those sinners, you are a daughter that is put down, a humiliated mother, an abused wife and an oppressed sister! Men are always unjust, hypocrites, dictators, freedom- preventers and suppressers, according to them. There is a fabricated war that those evil ones are starting for no reason other than to direct you to rebel against your father, be arrogant with your brother and disobedient to your husband. They do not call for justice, mercy and unity. They call for hatred, arrogance and destruction.

Third: They do not stop at their call for rebellion against parents, brothers and husbands, rather, they plot against Islam. They call upon you to rebel against the obligations of Islam and the decrees of the All-Knowing King. Islam, to them, is unjust and Islamic laws are imperfect and restrictive. They call upon you, day and night, to rebel and insist on the disobedience of this religion. They try to rid you of your religion. They try to rid you of comfort and safety under generous parenthood, happy marriage and good brotherly relations.

Those devils portray piety and honor as chains on freedom. To them, Hijab does not cover the head, but also covers the mind; prayer, fasting and Zakat are a waste of time and effort; and obedience to husbands is slavery and a retum to the stone age. They distorted all facts and changed all truths, all to serve their evil goals.

Dear Sister,

The goals that your enemies and the enemies of your religion are seeking to achieve are well known. They want you to be available for them to fulfill their evil desires whenever they wish. They want you to be a mistress that has no honor. They want you to be found everywhere, on roads and in places of sin, without honor, religion or manners. They seek for you only what they want you to do. The Western world has gone through this all. Women of the West are the part of society that is facing injustice and dishonor. They strive to please men who keep changing partners and seek pleasures but with no responsibility and no consideration of the evil consequences of their sinful actions.

O Muslim sister, read and know about those women who discarded shyness and honor and followed their desires, what was the result of their deeds? Was their end honorable and desirable, or was it a shameful and hated end?

Advice For My Sister In Islam

Be proud of your religion and the religion of your ancestors. Be a good example for your sons and daughters and sincere in your belonging to this mighty nation. Know that honor is an honor to all wise people, and that adultery is dishonorable to all nations, even if some called it freedom. Know that adultery is also done with the eyes by seeing, with the ears by listening, and with the mouth by kissing, as was mentioned in a Hadith related by Imam Muslim. Your happiness is in being an obedient and believing daughter, a loyal and generous wife and a pious and merciful mother. Know that prayer is the cornerstone of Islam. Fasting one day, for the sake of Allah , takes your face seventy years away from Hellfire, as the Hadith, related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, states. Charity is a major cause for gaining forgiveness and for repentance to be accepted. Those women who are showing parts of their bodies to men, will not enter Paradise or smell its fragrance and are cursed, as in the Hadith related by Imam Muslim. Hijab is an honor and protection for you. Hijab must be modest in color and not exotic, wide and thick and not revealing, different from the dress of non-Muslim women and men. My Dear Sister,

These are words from the heart. These are words of good and sincere advice. Beware of the loyalists of Satan who want to lead you astray. Be a slave of Allah , righteous and decendent of righteous women and know your role in building this great nation. Perform your duty and do not be a cause for destruction. Be a maker of righteous generation that will lead mankind, again, to what is right and proper, to the great religion of Islam.

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“You and him are meant to be together.”

It sounded cliché, and for a while, I suppressed the urge to laugh.

“There is a reason why you and him and together. Because you can handle this, and he’s not sent to someone who can’t handle it.”

Taken aback, I responded,

“That’s a nice way of looking at it,”

“Yeah, especially from his perspective.”

As I left the WIC office, the ayah came to my mind,

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear…”

It’s amazing how human minds can reflect upon situations, incidents, and experience, and come up with a beautiful way of presenting it verbally, in sentences. Yet how much more amazing it is, to realize that all these have been mentioned by Allah in the book that is our guidance in this earthly life.

I was taken aback not because she came up with a nice way of looking at it, but because what she said resonates with the ayah above, especially since she’s not Muslim.

Whatever tests and trials Allah doles out to each and everyone of us, no matter how trying, we have the inner strength to bear it. Mothers who have children with chronic and acute conditions ranging from eczema to multiple food allergies are so because they are capable of handling it.

Of course, one would never think that in the throes of watching one’s child scratch his skin away, or in the agony of trying to find something he can eat without reacting to the food.

However, an affair of a Muslim is always good. Subhanallah!

The tenacity of an athlete in training for an event is a perfect instance of human resilience and inner strength. No pain no gain is very applicable in our daily lives, for the road to Jannah is not paved with gold, but rather, strewn with thorns, rocks, and every other possible hurdle to make it a very rugged terrain. Just as an athlete’s body is put through numerous and repeated pain, a human soul is also put through numerous and repeated tests. Just as the muscles and stamina begin to build up in an athlete’s body, the human soul realizes its inner strength as it goes through these tests, one after the other.

Allah gave me a child with multiple food allergies for a reason: because I, as a mother can handle it. Allah didn’t give me a child with food allergies before, maybe because I was not strong enough to manage it. A few years ago, Allah gave me Julaybib, and decreed that he be one of those who dies in the womb, because I can handle it. Allah makes me one of those who homeschool multiple children because I can handle it, though there are many days where I would not attest to that fact.

So yes, I can handle this, and that is why I have been bestowed with this test, in order that I find that inner strength…and that goes for all of us.

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الٓمٓ (١) ذَٲلِكَ ٱلۡڪِتَـٰبُ لَا رَيۡبَ‌ۛ فِيهِ‌ۛ هُدً۬ى لِّلۡمُتَّقِينَ (٢)

Alif. Lam. Mim. (1) This is the Scripture whereof there is no doubt, a guidance unto those who ward off (evil). (2)

I have a question about the above ayah. Every single time I read this ayah I think and wonder what Alif lam Meem could possibly mean, words with no translation under it.. same for Ha Meem and Ya Seen.
Will this be the question I ask Allah in Jannah?Yes, one of them insha’Allah , but not THE question!

Subhan’Allah , when I meet reverts to Islam and hear their stories of sturggle, I often zone out and hear them only barely. I start to wonder- that if Allah had decreed for me to be born in a non-Muslim family, would I have had the strength and the wisdom to chose the path of Islam. Had Allah shown me the clear signs, would I grasp them or would I be of the losers and simply brush them off. So me, as I am today, same personality, same character, but only in a different family- would I chose to be guided or misguided?

So I will ask the one who guides: Ya Allah , had I been born in a family full of ignorance, would you have given me the aql’, the intellect, to chose the path of righteousness?

Sometimes I think that- isn’t it a possibility that Allah chose those who he knows have the courage and the determination to find and fight for the truth, to be born in families who are not Muslim? Regardless of who and what they are surrounded by they will come out clean. And for those, who he hasn’t created with such passion are born in Muslim families so we mays struggle less. And of course…..

Allah guides to His Light whom He will. (24:35)

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What happened to the ancient Mayans? Is there really a lost city of Atlantis? May I see the dinosaurs? May I see the galaxies? May I see how the people of Iram looked like? Right now, those are the questions I would be tempted to ask Allah , were I given the offer to ask them.

However, in Jannah, inshaa Allah , I don’t know what I would want to ask. By then, maybe, or maybe not, I would have gone through more of life such that the above questions would no longer be the foremost in my hunger for answers.

I have truly mulled over this question, and even now, I don’t really have a good response.

I would love to watch a ‘movie’ of the history of the world, mostly revolving around the lives of the prophets from Prophet Adam alayhissalam to Rasulullah sallallaahu alayhi wasallam, but I figured that it might be better to make appointments with the prophets themselves and hear their stories firsthand.

I did think of asking Allah to show me how my life would have played out had I took different choices in my life, as BlessedMuslimah, but then I thought that might be depressing if I see something I don’t really want to see.

I have a child, inshaallah waiting for me right now, named Julaybib, (named after the sahabah
), who died at 24 weeks gestation. I thought of asking Allah what actually happened in my womb that led to Julaybib’s demise, but I figured that maybe Julaybib can tell me himself, inshaallah.

I suppose, in this very restricted frame of mind that is still surrounded by the dunya, one question I would ask Allah in Jannah is…

May I see, meet, and talk with my ancestors and descendants?

I know that will probably lead to countless hours of chatting, but then again, we have all the time in Jannah, don’t we? No need to rush to the kitchen to cook dinner for the family, no need to do any laundry, no need to be anywhere at a specific time. Bliss. True bliss.

May we all be reunited in Jannah. Ameen.

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Jannat Al-Firdows al Alaa! Sounds like a great destination to me……

When i was thinking about this question….i got really confused. What would i really want to know in Jannah? InshaAllah in Jannah….i wont be bogged down by my dunyatic thinking so would i really wish to know something dunyatastic? I cant think of anything related to my dunya currently that i would want to know there…im wanting to leave all this life totallyy and utterly behind me! The drama…the fitnah…the difference of opinion…By then it wont matter about whether or not the opinion of niqab is fard…or if i should be following ’so and so’ shiekh. Whether or not the newly taught  action is a bidah… Whether gelatin is halal…..nothing. All of these things wont matter anymore. I dont want to ask the “whys” because I know Allah has a greater wisdom for everything that happens….I dont want to ask the hows…because it wont matter then!

so i have come to the conclusion that i have no idea WHAT SO EVER what i would ask in Jannah…By the mercy of Allah i hope to get there and see what i really will ask!

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For some odd and uncanny reason, almost any time I think of the Day of Judgment and the fact that we will see everyone’s life played out in front of us, I think (and I know this is weird) - Man, I really wanna know who killed JFK! And then I would think – well we’re going to be so concerned with our own souls that we won’t even notice or remember what we were wondering about in this world. So then I thought – if I enter Jannah, I will ask Allah about it.

It’s one of those things on the back of your mind that for some reason pops up out of no where in the most inappropriate of times. I hardly know anything about JFK to care, nor am I particularly curious to find out who killed him. I suppose I use it as a constant example illustrating how so many people are wondering, researching and trying to figure out something so simple, when Allah subhanaHu wata’ala knows all along. Allah is ever aware of the mysteries of people’s actions and their intent, while we constantly have no clue. In fact, ask us a year later whether we remember what ’so and so’ did, and we’ll likely draw a blank. Ask us what we did, and we’ll likely draw a blank.

While this is one of the questions I would ask Allah subhanaHu wata’ala, it is not THE question that I would really like to ask.

My question would be:Can I see how my life would have played out had I made different decisions at the decisive points in my life?

When I think of this question at any time, I remember this:

“As for my prison sentence, al-Ghazali said that if we had perfect power like God to determine our destinies, & perfect vision like God to see the future & know what is best for us, we would choose exactly the fate that God chose for us”  

- Ismail Royer

walhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘alameen  

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Bismillah….

 Question Number Two…

A few years ago I attended a lecture and the speaker had said that, Insha’Allah , once we are given the honor to enter Jannah we can ask Allah any questions we may have, even those pertaining to this world.

Question: One question you really would like Allah azza wa jal to answer in Jannah would be…….

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When I originally read this question i decided not to answer so i could think about it. After thinking about what i would write i came on and found our local chef has pretty much the same ideas i do! Ill share my side of it anyway.

At first I thought to myself, DUH my laptop. I have the recitation of the Quraan on there…i have my hadeeth database…i have the Quran text on there. But then i remembered…uh…Hello? Charger? Where would i charge that thing?!?! What would happen if it rained and it got wet??!?! what would happen if….Yea, scratch that. I had to think of something else.

Would i bring a person? No.
Would i bring a game? No.

What could i bring……

And then i realized, DUH (squared)…THE QURAAN. If i am alone on an island im prettyyy sure im gonna get depressed. No one to talk to, no one to look at…NO one. The only cure for depression is reciting the Quraan. The only way to sufficiently get outta the dumps is through Quraan. PLUS, im guessing ill have ALOT of spare time on that island…so what better way can one spend there time other than reading the Quraan?

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Tawakul!

Firstly, I was tempted to say that I would take a book on how to build a boat by yourself, but I’m not sure that would help without a chainsaw. So then I thought…. chainsaw… book. Book… chainsaw. Hmm. And so I quickly figured it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to keep along that train of thought, especially since I’m not sure how I would survive on a dinky little boat in the middle of the vast sea unless I was planning on catching food a la Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” – and if you were wondering before for whatever reason, let me put your mind to rest and say – no I do not know how to catch live fish with my bare hands.

So why tawakul you ask? Well firstly, if I were to be stranded on an island, I probably wouldn’t have much choice in being there, let alone having much choice in what to bring. If someone were to genuinely ask me this question, I’d say – “well if I’m already stranded on the island, how can I take something with me? Wouldn’t that mean I planned the whole thing to begin with? Who would plan to be stranded on an island?” Anyhow, the conversation would probably continue in that manner, but in lieu of the hypothetical-ness of this question, let

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After a moment’s pause, my husband replied,

“My wife, the quran.”

After a few more minutes of discussion, he said,

“That’s not even a valid question. It’s like asking if Allah can create a rock so big that He can’t move it.”

“If I knew I was going to be stranded on an island, I won’t go.”

That’s my husband.

As for me, I would take … him.

Since I am married, my Jannah depends on him. Plus, I can’t go without a mahram, can I?

Umm Salamah (RA) reported: Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
“Any woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah”. [At-Tirmidhi].

Human beings are created to want companions. Solitude can drive a human crazy, and the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam told us not to travel alone.

Malik related to me from ‘Abd ar-Rahman ibn Harmala that Sa’id ibn al-Musayyab heard the Messenger of Allah , may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Shaytan concerns himself with one and two. When there are three, he does not concern himself with them.” (Bukhari)

Well, even two is not recommended, but since I can only take one thing, it has to be something that can produce progenies.

It would be nice if the Quran is completely in my heart, as it should ideally be, but since my husband knows surahs that I don’t, and I know surahs that he doesn’t, inshaallah we’ll have part of the Quran with us. That reminds me of Muhammad Ibn Faqih’s advice in Ulum Al Quran,

“My advice for those of you who are married is to make sure you keep the Quran in your household. Make sure your children memorize it, or you can divide it up between the husband and wife. If the husband memorizes 2/3 of it then maybe the wife can memorize the remaining 1/3. You can also divide it up between the children.”

All things are created in pairs, and if I were to be stranded on an island, I would want my pair with me, especially if I don’t know how long I might be stranded.

And of everything We have created pairs, that you may remember (the Grace of Allah ). Adhaa riyat [51:49]

As a mother, my natural and immediate inclination might be to take my children, but since they are still young, I wouldn

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I don’t know if this is a valid answer or not but I’m going to say it anyways. If I was to be stranded on an island I would take my mommy with me!
I consider her to be the key to my Jannah. She has been there with me from my first days and in my happy moments and she was my shoulder in saddest of times. If she was to know that I am going to be stranded on an Island, she would first try to stuff all the food and vitamins she can in my pocket and then right before I leave the house she would ask me if she could tag along so that she can be there to take care of me, even if it means risking her own life. Yep that’s my mommy!

May Allah grant our parents peace in this world and Akhirah! Ameeeen!

Obeying and honoring one