“A man can’t handle labor pains, if he does, he’ll die.”

It cracked me up really bad the moment the sister uttered it. While I laughed till my eyes started to water, she merely offered a smile. Apparently, it didn’t strike her as being that funny.

It was the way she said it (in Malay) that elicited the percolating bubble of laughter from me, but the content of her statement is actually food for thought.

We’ve read about it here and there:

Women are endowed with child-bearing capabilities because they have a special role.

Women are in a way stronger than men, because they are designed to handle labor pains.

Having experienced six labor pains so far, I have to say that it’s amazing how women’s bodies can swell up to harbor a growing human being until it’s ready to make its exit, and even more astounding that a full term baby can exit from a really small orifice. Subhanallah!

Yet, what’s even more thought-provoking is the concept of pain in Islam.

Narrated ‘Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah ’s Apostle said, “No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” (Bukhari)

This means that any amount of pain we have to endure, brings with it the opportunity to purify ourselves. Double whammo! Win-win. Tit for tat.

Being a woman automatically equips us with this built-in opportunity, even if we end up not having any children. Menstrual cramps? Got it? Or even anything not related to womanly issues.

In short, any pain is a gain.

But wait, why did I start with ‘being a woman’?

Because looked at it from this way, being a woman is actually something to be coveted, as opposed to the usual lament,

“I wish I was a boy. It’s easier being a man than a woman!”

Despite sometimes wishing that my husband could get pregnant and breastfeed so I could have some time to myself, I never wished I was a man. Despite feeling tied up by an invisible string that prevents me from just dashing out of the house and leaving the kids with careless abandon whenever I feel the need to get away from the family, I do relish the security and freedom being a wife and mother brings. Despite feeling like an overused cow with an active udder that is expected to perform even at night, I cherish the honor of being the source of food for a growing little human being.

I admit it. I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I cringe and wince even at the thought of scheduling an annual pelvic exam. I get all panicky when I’m in my second trimester, already thinking of the labor pains and delivery of the baby. Pain scares me. Seriously.

But when the time came, twice, I refused the epidural, despite the nurses pushing it on me. I refused it not because I thought I would gain more reward from bearing the pain, but because I thought having some foreign matter in my body is not good for the baby, as long as I could help it. Childbirth is a natural bodily process. Allah has made the pain increase gradually, so our body can acclimate to the ‘new and notched up pain’.

Suffice it to say, pregnancy brings a lot of pain with it, even before childbirth. Then imagine the opportunities for sin removal from just one pregnancy! Subhanallah!

After childbirth, there are more opportunities for sin removal. Don’t worry. It’s all in the package. The healing process, the initial difficulty with nursing, the possible engorgement, the cramping, and all the problems that may come with breastfeeding and C-section. You will get your fair share, if you’re a woman who has just given birth to a new member of the ummah.

For those who have not yet faced pregnancies or childbirth, you can look forward to it in a new way. For those who can’t bear children, Allah has something better in store for you inshaallah.

So it is with this outlook and perspective that we can embrace pain with gratitude when it happens to us, inshaallah. As they say, no pain no gain!

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Filed under: Advice